Please scroll down to view VIDEOS of
the program and find links to RESOURCES that are available
Everyone
experiences physical and emotional loss at some point in life, whether the loss
of a loved one or of some aspect of one’s own physical or mental health. These
difficult experiences can present special challenges to LGBT older adults
because of unique family, social, emotional, and financial systems of support.
Inadequate access to understanding and competent care providers can also be a
barrier to effective coping.
To
address some of the concerns unique to LGBT individuals and families in navigating
grief and loss, the LGBT Elder Initiative presented “Grief,
Loss & Possibility,” a free community forum, on Saturday, December 6, 2014.
“Grief, Loss & Possibility” was
part of the LGBTEI’s Conversations
series of informational programs. The
program focused on resilience and positive coping techniques.
Presenters & Program Video
Laura Hinds, MSW, LCSW, therapist and professor of
social work at the University of Pennsylvania, served as the program moderator.
Laura’s presentation included definitions of key words and identified subtly
different types of grief and loss, such as ambiguous, acute, unresolved, and
complicated experiences of grief. Click on the video box where you will find her presentation immediately following the program introduction by LGBTEI Chair, Heshie
Zinman or click here to go directly to the presentation.
Steve Grout and Elizabeth Coffey Williams, community members, shared
their own experiences of grief and resilience. Their moving stories about the
difficult losses they’ve experienced and how they were able to cope can be
viewed here.
Reverend Jeffrey Haskins, pastor of Unity Fellowship of
Christ Church Philadelphia, discussed the spiritual and pastoral dimensions of
dealing with grief and loss from his personal and professional experience. Rev.
Haskins spoke to some of the ways we can tend to our grief and seek support in
doing so. You can view his presentation here.
Bob Pileggi works with individuals,
families, groups, and corporations to get the most out of life, work and relationships
by being present to them. As a spiritual director, ceremony officiant and yoga
instructor, Bob guides people through challenges and changes in the body, heart
and spirit over the lifetime. His presentation,
which concluded the program, is available here.
Additional Information
“Grief,
Loss & Possibility” included an opportunity for attendees to share their
stories, questions and coping strategies with each other in small groups. Despite
the uniqueness of each individual’s story, some common threads arose from the
discussion. Those threads included:
- the unreasonable expectation that one be ‘over’ one’s loss by a certain point in time;
- the way that ‘moving on’ really means a transformed life and not a return to a time before the loss occurred;
- the importance of seeking community and being open about one’s struggles with loved ones; and
- the importance of taking the time to tend to grief and not suppress it, which can lead to ill health and other consequences.
Both Bob Pileggi and Rev. Haskins
focused not only on coping, but on growth. They emphasized that grief offers a
unique opportunity for transformation. They explained that we can take positive
lessons from difficult experiences or be reduced by them.
LGBT older adults face many
challenges as they age. Seeking and cultivating social and spiritual
community to be supported in difficult times is important. Additionally, benefits
can be derived by offering support to others. Finally, the aging process itself
can lead to feelings of grief. Mourning the loss of one’s youth is very normal
and difficult, particularly within LGBT communities, which can be very
youth-obsessed.
Collaborating Partner
& Sponsors
“Grief, Loss &
Possibility,” a part of the LGBTEI’s Conversations
series of educational programs, was a collaborative effort of the Elder
Initiative and the Penn LGBT Center. The program was made possible by the
support of the Delaware Valley Legacy Fund (DVLF), Philadelphia Corporation for
Aging (PCA), and Philadelphia Gay News
(PGN).
RESOURCES
Counseling:
Jewish Family &
Children’s Services: Division of Senior Services provides individual and group counseling services for older adults in
Center City, the Northeast, and Elkins Park. Counseling can occasionally be
provided in the home. Original Medicare is accepted, and sliding-scale payments
are sometimes possible. Phone: 267-256-2000.
SAGE runs a National LGBT Caregivers Support Group
over the phone. This is a safe and nurturing space
to discuss the challenges of being a caregiver, vent frustrations and share
advice and resources. They also offer education seminars and online resources,
information on benefits and entitlements, and help for caregivers planning for
their own futures. For more information, email caregiving@sageusa.org.
Mazzoni Center’s Open
Door Counseling Program offers therapy and mental health support. Accepts most
insurance plans, including Medicaid, and a sliding fee scale is available.
Phone: 215-563-0663 ext. 248.
The Therapy Center of
Philadelphia offers
therapy and mental health services to women and transgender people. They offer
a sliding fee scale as well as insurance reimbursement. Phone: 215.567.1111.
The William Way Community
Center offers
free peer counseling for LGBT people. These are trained volunteers, not professional
therapists, who can meet with anyone on a short-term basis.
Online bereavement
forums:
Many churches,
hospitals, hospices, and community centers offer support groups or individual
help for those who have lost a loved one, are dealing with illness, or are
caregivers. Check with your faith community if you belong to one, or call a
hospital near you and ask to speak to the chaplain’s office or the bereavement
coordinator. They will be able to refer you to resources in your
community.
General
resources:
The Center for Advocacy
for the Rights and Interests of the Elderly
www.carie.org or call 215-545-5728
The Philadelphia
Corporation for Aging
www.pcacares.org or call 215-765-9040
National Resource Center
on LGBT Aging:
http://lgbtagingcenter.org/
LGBT Aging Project: www.lgbtagingproject.org
Hospice Information
Center:
http://www.hospicefoundation.org/infocenter
AARP Caregiving Resource
Center:
GLBT National Help
Center Hotline:
1-888-843-4564
National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Trans
Lifeline: 877-565-8870
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